{"id":13101,"date":"2025-02-21T11:30:41","date_gmt":"2025-02-21T16:30:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/itgetsbettercanada.org\/?p=13101"},"modified":"2025-02-21T15:33:36","modified_gmt":"2025-02-21T20:33:36","slug":"dear-queer-issue-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/itgetsbettercanada.org\/fr\/2025\/02\/21\/dear-queer-issue-2\/","title":{"rendered":"HELP\u2014I\u2019ve accidentally orchestrated a sapphic love triangle"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\"\"\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t

Dear Queer,<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

So\u2026 I think I may have unknowingly written myself into the plot of a messy queer romance novel.<\/strong> I (24F) recently started casually dating this absolutely radiant, incredible, goddess of a woman (let\u2019s call her A). We\u2019re vibing, we\u2019re flirting, the queer tension is tens<\/strong>e\u2014it\u2019s all very exciting.<\/p>

Enter: My best friend, B. She and I have been inseparable for years, but lately, she\u2019s been acting… off.<\/strong> Suddenly, she\u2019s giving me the cold shoulder, making snarky comments about A.<\/strong><\/p>

Well, I finally confronted B about the weird vibes, and\u2014plot twist!\u2014she confessed she has feelings for me<\/strong>. Feelings she never acknowledged until I started seeing someone else.\u00a0<\/p>

And now? I\u2019m spiraling.<\/strong> Did I really never think of B that way, or have I been too oblivious to notice? Am I actually catching feelings for my best friend or am I just getting lost in the drama of it all? Meanwhile, A is completely unaware of the gay chaos unfolding behind the scenes, and I have no idea how to navigate this situation without breaking hearts\u2014including my own.<\/p>

So, what do I do?<\/strong> Stick with the woman I was just getting to know, or risk it all for the best friend who may have just upended my entire perception of our relationship? How do I escape this web of yearning, guilt, and sapphic emotional turmoil??<\/strong><\/p>

–\u00a0One very confused lesbian<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t

\nDear Beautiful Questioning Soul,<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

Dear My Walking WLW Disaster\u2122,<\/strong><\/p>

Ah, yes. The age-old sapphic dilemma: Am I having a profound emotional revelation, or am I just overanalyzing the plot of my own life like it\u2019s a critically acclaimed slow-burn lesbian drama?<\/strong><\/p>

First of all, breathe.<\/strong> You are not the first queer to accidentally trip and fall into a love triangle, and you won\u2019t be the last. Let\u2019s untangle this emotional web, shall we?<\/p>

Step 1: Acknowledge the Chaos<\/strong><\/h4>

You have two<\/strong> relationships here:<\/p>

A \u2013 The exciting, new connection<\/strong> full of potential and fresh queer romance.<\/p>

B \u2013 The best friend who just dropped a romantic bombshell<\/strong> and possibly changed how you see your entire history together.<\/p>

You\u2019re caught between loyalty, confusion, and the terrifying realization that feelings are complicated (and sometimes inconveniently timed). But remember: You are not responsible for managing other people\u2019s emotions at the expense of your own clarity.<\/strong><\/p>

Step 2: Are You Actually Into B, or Are You Spiraling?<\/h4>

You said you never thought of B that way before\u2014so what changed? Do you actually<\/em><\/strong> have romantic feelings for B? Or are you just experiencing the classic “someone wants me, therefore I must want them back” reaction? Are you feeling pressured because you don\u2019t want to hurt B? Would you have wanted something with B if she had told you before A was in the picture?<\/p>

It\u2019s important to separate obligation from actual attraction.<\/strong> If your feelings for B are based more on guilt or nostalgia than genuine desire, that\u2019s your answer right there.<\/p>

Step 3: What Do You Want?<\/h4>

Forget what B wants. Forget what A wants. Forget what any of us reading this like it\u2019s a juicy novel<\/em> want. What do YOU want?<\/strong> If the idea of B as more than a friend doesn\u2019t make your heart do gay acrobatics, don\u2019t force it. But if you do<\/em> feel something real for B, that\u2019s worth exploring\u2014with honesty and care.<\/p>

Step 4: Honesty Is Queer Culture<\/h4>

Regardless of what you decide, someone\u2019s feelings will be hurt.<\/strong> That\u2019s not a failure on your part\u2014that\u2019s just how human relationships work. The best thing you can do is communicate with both of them.<\/strong> Be clear with A about where your head is at, and if you decide you don\u2019t<\/em> feel that way about B, let her know gently but firmly.<\/p>

Step 5: No Wrong Answers (Except Ghosting)<\/h4>

There\u2019s no \u201cright\u201d answer here\u2014just the one that feels most honest. You\u2019re allowed to take your time, you\u2019re allowed to be confused, and you\u2019re definitely<\/strong> allowed to not reciprocate B\u2019s feelings just because she suddenly had an epiphany.<\/p>

At the end of the day, this isn\u2019t about picking a \u201ccorrect\u201d love interest\u2014it\u2019s about choosing yourself<\/em> first and making sure whoever you invest in romantically is someone you truly want, not just someone who wants you.<\/p>

Good luck, dear sapphic disaster. May your heart find clarity, and may your queer turmoil make for an excellent journal entry.<\/p>

With love and zero judgment,<\/strong>
Dear Queer*<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

*The advice provided in Dear Queer is intended for informational and supportive purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health, medical, or legal advice. While we aim to offer affirming and thoughtful guidance, every individual\u2019s experience is unique. If you’re struggling with your identity, relationships, or mental well-being, we encourage seeking support from a qualified professional, trusted mentor, or 2SLGBTQ+ support organization. Remember\u2014your journey is valid, and you deserve care, clarity, and community.<\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t

Want to submit a question to Dear Queer?<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t